Amazing Race: #SaveBlair

reindeer

Blind dates team bickered even more in Germany while dating teams got along just fine. Hayley reached a new level of annoying, but I mostly felt bad for Bergen since he got stuck with a really sucky partner that just gave up. Come see what Amy, Steve and I had to say about this fifth episode of the Amazing Race.

As the episode started, I remembered how the lawyers annoyed me last episode so I picked them to go home. Amy said she was sticking to her guns and picking Hayley. She said, “I feel l owe it to the world and/or Blair quits voluntarily.” Steve picked the hair stylists. I told him that they were my favorite team currently.

Bickering Starting

Teams were headed to Munich, Germany. Bergen told the camera that Kurt only came on the race to find love and since he is rich, he doesn’t need to win a million dollars so he hopes he is still going to make an effort to win the race. They did come in first place last leg so there was some hope there. Blair talked about how they have fought and hated each other at times, which Hayley agreed with, but when she said, “We are now best buds that are going to win a million dollars!” he said, “Uhhh….yeah….” No one is best buds with you Hayley. Then there was JJ team who have been getting along pretty well so far and the closest the show has to an actual match with the blind date teams, but they showed Jeff in the cab complaining about Jackie being stinky and sticky with her bug spray on. The little annoyances are starting!

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Dressing Up

All teams were on the same flight to Munich so we didn’t have any airport drama to watch. When they arrived, they had to go to a German costume shop. They had to wear lederhosen and dirndls before heading off to their next stop. The store owners were helping everyone change and it really sounded like the German lady helping told the women they needed to show their boobs.

germancostumes

After they changed, they had to climb stairs up to the top of a tower. It looked like a lot of stairs. Amy said it was a million. When teams reached the top, they looked down until they saw some marked Ford Focus cars. They all weren’t in the same location, but spread out parked on different streets so teams had to figure out where a few were located in case another team got to a car first.

Finding & Hating Stick Shifts

Laura/Tyler were the first team to get to the costume store and the top of the tower so they got to the cars first. They got into one car with Laura driving. That’s when they discovered the cars were stick shifts. After stalling the car right when she started it, she asked if they could switch to the car in the front of all the parallel-parked cars so she could just move forward. They jumped out and switched cars before any other teams got there, but totally forgot about the fanny pack that Tyler had already taken off in the backseat. Oh no! I said it wasn’t that bad since at least it was another team that would have the fanny pack and would eventually catch up to them.  Amy said, “I want to know if there is one cameraman whose number one job is to film lost items.”

JJ team were running around lost since they couldn’t remember where they had seen the cars when they were in the tower. Jeff wanted to go back up to the tower since they couldn’t find it even though Jackie wanted to keep looking. When Jackie was about to suggest something, Jeff stopped her and said they were going back up to the tower. They did end up running past a car and found the one that Tyler left his fanny pack in. Then they got into the car and drove away yelling at each other about respecting each other.  Their love connection is crumbling…

blondeselfie

The blonde gay guys couldn’t drive stick. They were both hoping they would be paired with someone else that could. Oh god. Seriously? I said, “Once again, why don’t they know how to drive a stick?” Amy gave her list of things that everyone should know to be on Amazing Race, “Sleep on a plane, drive stick, don’t lose crap, don’t make friends, and don’t bug God about this.” Bergen was slowly getting the hang of the stick, but Kurt was not encouraging at all. Every little jerk of the car made him say something like he was ready to just jump out of the car since he didn’t feel safe. At one point, Bergen was asking Kurt to help with directions, but Kurt just said he was too stressed out to help while he was playing with the selfie phone. At one point they finally pulled over and Kurt said they should just get a taxi to the next task. Steve didn’t think it was fair that they were going to take taxis to various destinations while other teams were going to get lost figuring out how to get there.

The Olympians were the only team to figure out their car had GPS and used it to get to the next location. Other teams asked for directions. The lawyers and truck stop teams seemed to be more lost than other teams. Jenny of the lawyers was super concerned about being in the back of the pack again.

The truck stop team seemed to be handling being lost better. Rochelle wasn’t crying about it so that was good.  When one team was shown reaching the pit stop and other teams had gone through the detour and were working on the road block, the truck stop team was still getting lost trying to get to the next part of the leg. I asked if they were still lost. Amy said, “They are in Austria right now.” They could not drive stick, but at least they were not abandoning their car and they kept trying. They did eventually make it to the next task in last place.

Driving Backwards

The Olympians got to the next place first and found they had to drive their car backwards through a little course using the rear-view camera in the car and read parts of road signs to figure out their next destination. It was pretty easy, but only one car could go through the course at a time. They spelled our their next destination and were taking off by the time Laura & Tyler got there. That’s when they realized they didn’t have Tyler’s fanny pack. They were cool about it. No one blamed each other and there was no fighting. They decided to do the task and then wait for the car that had the fanny pack to show up.

notwithhayley

The hair stylists showed up and left while they waited. Blair & Hayley also showed up. Hayley was yelling at Blair about who knows what. She called him annoying since whatever he did was wrong according to her, like getting out of the car too slowly or asking Laura & Tyler why they were just hanging out. I said Blair had a look on his face that said, “Can we switch teammates?” Amy said that Blair wanted to say, “Please kill me.” I said that Blair could not keep holding it in. He had to start yelling at her. Amy said, “He will die of a heart attack if he keeps holding it in or die of stabbing himself in the eye.” Tyler started laughing at Blair & Hayley as they ran around to get ready to drive backwards with Hayley just yelling non-stop at Blair. He said he would rather be sitting right there than be on a team with her. The most Blair would say to Hayley when she yelled at him for talking to Laura & Tyler was to say he was craving conversation with happy people.

The gay blondes showed up next and briefly freaked out Laura & Tyler because they said they did have a blue car, but they left it to take a taxi there. Laura & Tyler hoped that wasn’t the blue car with their fanny pack in it. Since we knew it was still coming, we ignored all of this, but then watched the gay blondes take a two hour penalty for not being able to do the drive backwards task since they didn’t drive their car there! So stupid! When JJ team finally showed up, they totally lied and said they didn’t find a fanny pack. Laura found it shoved under the seat while the JJ team ran to get their clue and before they got back to to the drive backwards task. Laura asked Tyler if he had left his fanny pack under the seat. He said know he had left it on the back seat so they knew they were trying to hide it. They just shrugged it off and continue on with the race. Will they try to get that team back later?

The gay blondes got to watch the lawyers come and drive through the task. When the truck stop team arrived, the gay blondes had already been there for over an hour of their two -hour penalty. I said, “See? The truckers don’t know how to drive stick and they got there!” Amy said, “It’s not like it’s your car. Just trash the transmission!” If they had just drove their car, it would have put the truck stop team in last place, but it was now the gay blondes officially in last and they had to wait about 50 more minutes before they could leave. They had to take a train to the detour location so I guess it wasn’t as fast as just catching a taxi like we thought.

Beer Steins or Beer Crates

The Olympians got to the next task first and found a detour. They had to choose between delivering 22 beer steins from one location to another in a beer hall while weaving through many people drinking and cheering or stacking up 15 beer crates which seemed to consist of climbing up the beer crates to stack them higher. The beer steins looked easier and quicker to me.

hayleystein

The Olympians picked the beer stein task and made it look easy. As soon as they learned there were 22 beer steins to carry, they both took 11 and did it without dropping any. When Blair & Hayley showed up, she declared she could only carry eight total so that left Blair to carry 14. Who dropped the steins multiple times? Hayley. The hair stylists showed up. Ashley said she could only carry eight at the most, so that left Matt carrying 14. They did it on the first try though. Blair & Hayley watched them do it and then when Blair was trying to offer tips to help Hayley, she became condescending while yelling at him that she already knew all the things he was telling her and calling him Captain Obvious. We laughed at the show popping up the hashtag #captainobvious while Amy said, “If you already know, then how come you suck?” Then, Hayley refused to try anymore with the steins and said they had to switch to the other detour.

The JJ, lawyers and Laura & Tyler picked the stacking challenge. Blair & Hayley showed up soon after they arrived. One person was allowed to hold the crates steady from the ground while the other climbed up them until there were 10 crates. The last five had to be placed by the person climbing them with no reinforcements  from the person on the ground. Also the person climbing did have a harness attached to them so when the crates did fall, which they did a lot, they could just swing in the air until they were slowly brought down to the ground. We were surprised that Blair & Hayley were actually working well together on the task. Blair was doing the climbing and Hayley was actually encouraging him and not telling him he was stupid.

Blair & Hayley were on their last crate when Blair lost his balance and they had to start over. The lawyers switched between Jenny and Jelani doing the stacking, but were still struggling. The JJ team were the first one to finish with Laura & Tyler,  the lawyers and Blair & Hayley finishing right after.

cratestacking

When the truckers got to the stacking challenge, Mike started climbing, but after falling multiple times, Rochelle said she would try even though she is afraid of heights.  She was a trooper! She was crying but kept doing it. She did it slowly and they finished it!

The gay blondes finally got off the closest train to the detours by the time everyone else had finished. They wandered around for a while, but could not find either detour location. They decided to go back to the train station.

Getting Soaked Singing

The Olympians arrived at the road block, which consisted of one of them learning a German song and singing it halfway up on a ladder while their teammate was on the balcony listening to their German song. If they messed up the song or sang out of tune, they got water dumped on them. Almost all the women did the singing part. Some were pretty bad, but some I thought sounded fine, but all the women had water dumped on them while the two guys that did it (truck stop and Blair) got the clue right away. Did they just want the women wearing white blouses to be wet? I mean, Jeff did get excited when Jackie had water dumped on her saying it turned into a wet t-shirt contest.

singingwet

When Blair was singing, Hayley was harassing him the entire time. He didn’t get water dumped on him though. Amy said it was “because everyone feels sorry for him. #pleasegivemethecluehayleyiskillingme #saveblair”

Pitstop

The Olympians showed up to the pit stop first.  They both won a Ford Focus. We noticed the lady standing next to Phil wasn’t wearing a hat so that theory Amy had about that being part of the memorization at the end of the race went out the window. The next team to arrive was the hair stylists, which was the only other team to do the beer stein task. That was the quicker one. I am not sure why more teams didn’t try it.

All the stacking teams showed up at the pit stop around the same time: JJ team, lawyer,  and Blair & Hayley. Then a little bit later Laura & Tyler checked in. They must have gotten lost getting to the pit stop since they should have checked in before the lawyers and Blair & Hayley.

badmatch

The truckers showed up much later, but they weren’t the last team! That would be the gay blondes that were still hanging out at the train station since according to Bergen, Kurt had just given up and he couldn’t persuade him to try to race anymore. I feel bad that the producers of the show ignored everything they said about what they were looking for in a love match and paired up two guys that had no interest in each other, but I feel for Bergen when he had to put up with a guy that just didn’t care about competing in the race at all. That had to be frustrating. Amy said, “Too bad Blair can’t trade like a save.” I said, “Yes, Blair can be with the one good gay guy.”

velveetahead

Created this site in 2002. Pop culture and entertainment lover for much longer-- tv, movies, music, books, cowbells, and armadillos.

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