Texas Team’s Flawless Plan

flawlessplan

The Texas team became so blinded in their hatred for Justin this leg that they made an overly complicated plan to sabotage the Green Team and ended up wasting the one advantage they had going into the leg. Hilarious!

Our Guesses

Steve and Amy picked the Southern team as the one to go home first. They have been fighting more and more, so they could be reaching a breaking point soon. I thought that was a solid choice, but I went with the Cheerleaders since they are consistently last and have barely stayed in this race since the beginning.

The Most Elaborate Strategy Ever

Before the race even began, Texas continued on with their hatred of the Green Team, and mostly Justin, to hatch the most elaborate and complicated strategy ever. It was so complicated that Steve and I could not follow what they wanted other teams to do, but Amy explained it to us. She knew the Texas team were planning on using the Express Pass to get to the U-Turn as quickly as possible so they could use the U-Turn on Justin. Then the next team to get to the U-Turn would pick the Texas team as the second team to U-Turn so that when Justin arrived to the U-Turn, he could not U-Turn any other team. Texas told other teams that if they did this, they would pass on the Express Pass to them. So much of this plan depended on not only the Texas team getting to the U-Turn first, but also another team getting to it second before the Green Team got there. We all shook our heads at it. Amy said, “Justin is annoying but no need to be so crazy.” We all agreed we would save the Express Pass to either avoid the Detour or to use if the team was picked at the U-Turn.

Flying to Africa

Teams found they would be flying to Zambia. Only the first four teams would make it on the first plane and the rest would be on a second flight. The first four teams to leave the mat made it on the first flight — Texas, Reporters, Green Team and Track Stars. The rest of the teams were on the second flight. Steve said, “Second plane is all the teams that aren’t going to win this race.”

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The Paparazzi team were the fifth team to leave the mat and I wondered if they would have found the travel agency sooner and made it to the first flight, but those two love to fight with one another. When reading the clue, Chris would interrupt Logan reading it out loud and start saying what he thought they should do. Then while holding a map, he would ask which direction they should go, which made her respond, “Look at your map. You have the answer in your hand. You said you knew how to read it.”

Traditional Face Spitting

When teams landed, they had to make their way to a village to get a traditional blessing, which involved a woman drinking some water and spitting on the teams. The Reporters arrived first and she spit on their stomachs. Texas arrived second and she spit right in their faces. They did take it in stride and laughed. She did not seem to spit in the face of the Track Stars or Diana on the Green Team. She seemed to like to spit in the guys’ faces.

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There were some variations on where she spat on the remaining teams. Chac Attack seemed to get it in the stomach while the Southern Team got it right in the face. The Paparazzi and Cheerleaders also got spit in the face. It was pretty entertaining all around.

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Dumb Strategic Move

The next task was a road block. Teams don’t know what a road block will actually be until one of the team members says they will do it. The Texas guys did not know that it would involve a team member riding in a flying scooter over Victoria Falls and searching for the next clue. They decided to skip the road block and go straight to the detour. They saw it was going to be some kind of flying task, but still decided they were going to skip it. I didn’t understand. We have seen teams in the past decide to use the Express Pass in the middle of a road block or detour, so I am not sure why they were using it now. I said, “I thought they would at least want to save it in case their plan doesn’t work out like they thought it would. Typically, when there is a Double U-Turn in a leg then both detours are usually pretty hard. What if they get stuck on a detour and then they have to do the other task because they were U-Turned while they were stuck and already used their Express Pass? I really hope that happens.”  Amy said, “Agreed. They should have done that one and saved it for a hard one.” Both Steve and I agreed that Justin is annoying, but we disliked the Texas team more. Amy said, “There’s no need to be nasty. Run the best race you can and use your advantages strategically, not for petty personal bullshit. That’s also some pro tip life advice in general.”

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The Reporters and Green Team were there for the road block. Kelsey and Diana were doing it while Joey and Justin were sitting on a bench waiting for them to finish. Joey told Justin that Texas used their Express Pass to skip the road block. Justin said it was a “dumb strategic move” to use the Express Pass at that point. Actually, all the teams that came through the road block thought it was dumb for them to use it at that road block and not save it for later, most likely to avoid the Detour.

The road block was pretty simple. All the teams that did it saw the flag over a bridge and it did not seem to take that long. It required no skill besides spotting the flag, which teams have been known to miss before, but no one did this time. The Texas guys really should have done the road block and they still would have been in first place.

The teams had to describe to their cab driver where they saw the flag so they could find a bridge that had a clue box on it telling them where to go for the detour. The Track Stars did a really bad job describing where to go to their driver so he was confused and they wasted some time going to a bridge you could drive across instead of one you could walk across which is where they needed to be. They did finally find it. I was also laughing that the Texas team was super close to Victoria Falls and then saw none of it on the road block or on the bridge to get the clue to the detour since they were handed that clue when they turned in their Express Pass. Dorks.

Wasted Express Pass

Then, the most hilarious thing happened to the Texas team. They said on their way to the Detour that their plan was flawless. Steve said, “That’s why you seem to nervous about it.” Then when they arrived at the Detour, they saw that they had to pick out room keys that had times for the next morning on them, starting at 8AM and the times were only 10 minutes apart. Their plan to use the Express Pass to get to the Detour well before any other team was wasted since everyone would be spending the night and doing the Detour the next day, pretty much around the same time. I said, “This is the best! This is what you get for being petty.” Steve said, “#flawlessplan” And to add insult to injury, the Green Team was the only other team to get an 8AM time with the Texas team.

The next morning while Texas and Green Team were waiting for the Detour to start they both said they would not U-Turn each other. Then later to the camera they both said they would totally U-Turn the other team if they needed to, so they both lied to each other. Why bother saying anything?

The Detour was between playing croquet against some official players or staining a carving of a giraffe. Both Amy and I were excited about croquet. Also, that means silly outfits.

Croquet vs. Giraffe Painting

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Texas, Green Team, Reporters and Southern Teams picked croquet. Southern son called it croquette, but we knew what he meant and laughed at him. The teams had yellow and red balls while the opposing team had black. They had to make six points before the other team did to win.

Chac Attack picked giraffe because they didn’t know what croquet was. Paparazzi, Track Stars and Cheerleaders also picked it. Teams had to stain a carving with a toothbrush, wait for it to dry and then polish it.

Neither detour seemed particularly hard, which was odd for a Double U-Turn being right after it. Croquet did seem to go much faster so all of those teams finished before any of the giraffe painting teams finished.

Green Team did finish first, which drove the Texas team crazy. Texas did get done right after. Over at the giraffe task, the Paparazzi were bickering non-stop with each other while the other teams were getting along just fine. They were all done with the staining part around the time the other teams were done with croquet and they weren’t even done with their task. They still had to apply their polish.

Double U-Turn and Pit Stop

The Double U-Turn sign ended up being right before the Pit Stop. All teams could see exactly where Phil was standing at the mat, but they still had to stand at the U-Turn and either use it or say they wouldn’t. The Green Team decided not to U-Turn anyone. They got to the Pit Stop which was at a children’s charity and they donated all their money to it before Phil told them that the leg wasn’t over! It was time to keep racing.

Meanwhile, the Texas team was pulling up and saw the Green Team at the mat. They were disappointed, but then pleased when they saw they were not on the U-Turn board. They decided to not U-Turn another team either and got up to the mat. Phil told them they had to decide right then which team to give the Express Pass to since the leg was continuing and he was going to give it to that team at the mat. They were not prepared for that so their crazy plan did not work at all!

The episode was also continued so until next time….

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