It was a double episode in Africa! At the start of the first leg, Steve noticed that all the teams were sporting different colored bandanas. No explanation was given, but each team had one. When Steve noticed this, he asked, “Why is everyone wearing Tupac doorags?” Amy and I then proceeded to laugh at the guy lawyer who looked the most ridiculous with his pink bow. Come see what other searing questions Amy, Steve and I asked as we watched the seventh long episode of the Amazing Race.
As the race started, Amy said she was sticking with Hayley needing to leave next. Both Steve and I went with the lawyers since they seemed like they have been bickering more and more on the race. Amy and I also wondered if the episode would be a continue racing episode since it was two legs back-to-back. Steve said, “This episode is two hours! Why? I wonder what’ll happen. Do you think someone dies?” I said that since they were going to Africa, maybe a lion eats them. Amy said, “If a lion bites Hayley, it will spit her out.” Steve said, “The lion would spit Hayley out because she would be yelling at it for not eating her correctly.”
We also got to watch another “date night” at the beginning of the episode. I’m not sure why we have to watch these and why they are happening on the show. It’s just unnecessary.
Handsome Bush Pilot
All teams ended up on the same flight to Africa. Once they landed, they had to go in a bush plane to their next location. There were six pilots waiting for each the remaining six teams. At this point there were three dating and three blind date teams left in the competition. I was surprised with how many blind date teams were left.
Hayley and Blair left the pit stop in a super good mood since they had come in first in the last leg. That good mood did not last since they were the last team to get off the plane and ended up with the sixth bush plane to leave to their next destination. Hayley blamed Blair for wanting to be comfier in the back of the plane when she wanted to sit closer to the front of it. I can’t really fault her for that. Blair was excited that Hayley was distracted by her dreamy bush pilot. It was pretty hilarious watching her interact with him and Blair just glad that Hayley was momentarily happy.
The Beginning of the Whining
After landing in what looked like the middle of nowhere, the teams had to get in some vehicles and drive themselves to the bushman village. Along the way, they had to stop and pick up a salt lick.
The Olympians were the first ones to the village and found a road block. Teams had to build a grass hut using sticks to dig holes and then use grass to tie sticks together before placing grass all over the hut. They also had the assistance of one of the bushmen. It didn’t seem too difficult, but time-consuming. The Olympians mentioned they had been switching off road block tasks so it was Aly’s turn to do it. She agreed and then when she found out what she had to do, she was not having it. She started bitching about how Olympian Steve would have been better at it than her and muttering about how “for some reason” he wanted her to do the task. Um, you two alternate tasks. You already said this on camera before you agreed to do it. I said, “Someone is extra cranky today! She’s been short since they started driving.” I had noticed her tone was snippy when they were stopping to get the salt licks on the way. Amy said to her, “I suggest that you not talk and end up dehydrated.”
While Aly was talking about imagining Olympian Steve’s face in the hole she was digging with a stick, the lawyers and hair stylists had shown up at the road block. Laura & Tyler were still driving to the village and had completely missed the salt lick stop on their way there. The truck stop team was having problems getting their car started. They first thought it had something to do with it being a stick shift again. Mike could not get the key to turn. We were all guessing that the steering wheel was locked in place. Steve said, “For a dude that works at a truck stop, he does not know vehicles at all.” While they were struggling, Blair & Hayley showed up and took off. When Rochelle asked if she could give it a try, she realized he had been using the wrong key to try to start the car. We did like that when this was happening, Rochelle and Mike didn’t yell at each other in frustration and she didn’t try to make him feel stupid for the key thing.
Laura & Tyler showed up at the village and Tyler started to work on the task. Blair & Hayley showed up at the village next and Hayley mentioned they didn’t have a salt lick. Blair said they didn’t know if the salt lick was at the bushman village or not. Hayley asked around and found out it was back near where they got the cars. She didn’t yell at Blair though. Amy said, “She was in her happy place thinking about the hot bush pilot doing everything she says and not ever telling her to shut up.” Laura & Tyler realized the same thing so they went off to get the salt lick before continuing on with the task.
The salt lick did not seem too far away since Blair & Haley and Laura & Tyler were back before the truck stop team arrived, but they weren’t too far apart. Tyler was crazy fast at building since his hut was done before everyone else, even though they did get to the road block in almost last place. The hair stylists, lawyers and Olympians all finished around the same time. I was shocked that Aly finished with all her whining.
Blair & Hayley finished the hut after all the other teams had arrived at the next clue. That just left the truck stop team. I said they were slow, but steady. I also wanted them to hurry up since I liked them as a team. The bushmen did all get together to dance and cheer when Rochelle was finally finishing up so that was nice.
Fun with Raw Meat
After finishing building huts, teams had to take their salt lick to a ranger station for their next clue. We thought it was odd that teams had to pick up and drop off the salt lick without doing anything else with it. We thought it would be used in some task. At the ranger station, teams found a detour between cutting up raw meat before taking it out to feed a pack of wild painted dogs or using a tracking system to find some elephants. The first three teams that arrived picked the dog detour. Only three teams could do it at a time so teams that came later had to pick the elephant task.
It ended up being Laura & Tyler, hair stylists and the lawyers doing the dog task. Laura commented that she doesn’t really eat meat, but she was excited to feed the dogs. Ashley said she wasn’t a butcher, but she came from a long line of butchers. Is that like when all the guys said they came from families of mechanics yet they weren’t mechanics? Jenny said she doesn’t cook or make her food and doesn’t touch red meat so it was all new to her. Does she have a live-in chef or just eats out/orders in every single day? It wouldn’t surprise me.
Ashley had some problems with the meat after a while. She started gagging while cutting up the meat. Matt had been cutting it off the huge corpse and she had been cutting it into smaller pieces, but when she gagged, he took over. As they finished up and got into the truck to head out to the dogs, Matt kissed Ashley. She made an awesome face and then apologized for making it. I think the smell of hot meat was getting to her.
It seemed to be a quick trip out to where the painted dogs were located and teams just threw out all the meat onto the ground. Amy said, “No bowls? The meat is getting dirt on it. They’re going to get dirt in their mouths. I think they should have little bowls or trays.” I didn’t think they minded.
The teams were given their last clue after they were done tossing out all the meat. It was directing them to the pit stop. While headed back to their own vehicles so they could drive to the pit stop, Jenny said she had some blood on her hands. She really wanted to smear it all over her face. I said, “Okay weirdo with your blood smear.” Amy agreed she is weird.
One benefit about the truck stop team being so behind was when they finally got to the detour, three other teams had finished it so they could actually do it. It did seem to be the quicker of the two detours since the elephant people had not made it back by the time the truck stop team had arrived. Of course, Rochelle is a vegetarian. Did all the non-meat-eaters pick this task? It did turn out the detour was faster since the truck stop team finished up the dog task before the elephant teams had even seen an elephant.
Fighting While Tracking Elephants
When the Olympians arrived, Cranky Pants seemed to be in a better mood since she was laughing at the size of the salt lick they picked up, which was huge, compared to everyone else’s, which were tiny. Then they learned that they had to choose the elephant task and that most likely put her back into the cranky pants.
Cranky pants was going to have a run for her money though because Hayley was back into Hayley mood since she was stressed about how far behind the other teams they were and how they did not get to choose the detour they wanted. She also had fallen out of the glow of her hot pilot. As they got into the jeep, Hayley was lacking confidence in Blair’s abilities with this conversation:
Hayley: “Are you okay using the radio Blair?”
Hayley: “You sure?”
Hayley: “Okay….you’re okay with it, for sure?”
Blair: “Yes, I’ve said that a few times.”
Hayley: “You don’t have to take an attitude about it.”
Blair is finally sticking up for himself somewhat and she still argues with him. There’s no winning. Amy said, “Oh, there’s the old Hayley.”
Over with the Olympians, Cranky Pants was hitting Olympian Steve in the face with the antenna because she was holding it out of the truck too much and it hit a bush before coming back in and hitting him in the face. Then when he held the antenna and she worked the radio part of it, he asked her which way he should be turning the antenna and she said she didn’t know because she had been watching the zebras that just crossed. He was quiet for a while, but then he finally made the guy stop driving the car and told Aly that they had to work together. Her response was, “I don’t know what you want me to do.” He had been asking her to look up at where he was holding the antenna and then tell him which way to turn it based on the signal on the radio. She was mostly just looking around and not working with him. She seemed annoyed by everything he was doing.
They weren’t the only ones bickering though! Blair was doing everything in the jeep while Hayley sat in the back. I believe that Blair was tired of her telling him how he was doing everything wrong so he just ignored her when she talked. She asked him what he was doing. She asked if she could help. He just kept holding the antenna and looking at the radio as if she wasn’t there.
The Olympians did finally start working together and soon after that found an elephant. They were headed to the pit stop in fifth place. When Blair & Hayley found their elephant, Hayley really hoped they weren’t in last place. Amy was pretty excited that they were at that point.
As teams headed to the pit stop, they pretty much just had to follow signs to Spitzkoppe. The first sign told them it was 215 km away. Long drive!
The hair stylists were at the front of the pack with Laura & Tyler and the lawyers just behind them. While driving, Laura asked Tyler if he wanted to look at the map with her to make sure they knew the entire way to the pit stop instead of just relying on the signs they were passing. He agreed and they stopped. It seemed slightly rude since the lawyers had to also stop while they checked out the map in their car. The lawyers were wondering why Laura & Tyler had stopped, but they didn’t spaz out. The hair stylists did that. Matt looked in his rearview mirror and didn’t see the car. He asked Ashley where they went and did he miss something. She freaked and said for him to go in reverse. When he reversed back to Laura & Tyler, they had just finished up with their map and wondered why the hair stylists had come backwards. Then they proceeded to laugh at both of the hair stylists getting out of their car and start to run towards them asking what was wrong? They finally figured out it was nothing and they should have just kept driving and giving themselves a bigger lead. Hilarity!
Things were not as fun with the Olympians. Cranky pants was pointing out that Olympian Steve was driving too close to the side of the road, which was true, since he ran over something and they had a flat tire. Her solution? Telling him she told him so over and over again. She also said that he yelled at her, which he never did. He was trying to remain calm and change the tire, while she stood there saying she didn’t know how to change a tire. Why not offer to help? She looked like she was on the verge of tears. Even with her “I told you so”, Olympian Steve said that she was right. Her response? “I know!” Amy said, “Is this the new way to behave? Once a person you are arguing with says you’re right, you keep going?” Blair & Hayley passed by the Olympians while they were changing the tire, which proved to Aly that they were really in last place now. It did make Hayley happy that they weren’t.
The hair stylists were doubting they were headed in the right direction so they stopped to ask someone that had no idea either. That gave Laura & Tyler a chance to go around them. The truck stop team was lost, like usual. Mike randomly turned. Rochelle asked him why or if he saw a sign. He said he had no idea where he was right then. Amy said, “What is going on? Do they not have maps?” All the teams were holding maps. I said, “I think they all have maps but some people are very bad at reading them. Also, he should know he is bad with directions. He shouldn’t follow his directional gut.”
Laura & Tyler were coming up to the pit stop first but the hair stylists were right behind them. Phil was up on a mountain and there didn’t seem to be a clear path to get to him. Tyler saw a way to get up to Phil, but Laura didn’t believe it. She wanted to go a way that didn’t involve as much rock climbing. Tyler said okay and found an easier way. The hair stylists pulled up and they ended up going the first way that Tyler found and got to the mat first. They both won $5,000. When Laura & Tyler came onto the mat, Phil poked fun at Laura for not rock climbing. Tyler said she was looking for the stairs.
The lawyers were really bad at paying attention to signs. They kept asking each other if they had seen any signs when they had just passed some and both of them were saying they hadn’t. I’m not sure why they quit following the other teams, but they went off on their own as some point. They were pulled off on the side of the road trying to flag someone down for directions. No one was stopping.
This gave Blair & Hayley a chance to get to the pit stop in third place. One thing about Hayley is she is really good at directions. The lawyers finally found the pit stop and were shocked to learn they weren’t in last place, but fourth. Phil told them they could at least hug for that. It was the most awkward hug ever. They really don’t like each other.
We were pretty sure that truck stop could not make the climb up the mountain, but they did! They came in fifth place. The Olympians came in last place and were told that it was a non-elimination leg. We were still sad it wasn’t a continuation of the first leg.
The teams camped in tents in the desert over night. Amy said, “Those do not look lion proof.” I said that I hoped Crabby Pants got some sleep and didn’t wake up on the wrong side again.
The next morning, the clue told teams there was a U-Turn ahead. The hair stylists were talking about wanting the use it on the lawyers since they had not forgiven Jenny for ditching them a few legs ago when she caught a cab when they had all agreed to run to a location. The lawyers mentioned they still had their Express Pass which we forgot they had since they didn’t mention it every leg like some other teams in the past have done.
Skydiving or Not
Teams had to go to an area that had been colonized by Germans and find their next clue in a German newspaper. They found it and had it translated to discover they were headed to a skydiving place. Everyone was scared and excited about it. Too bad though since they weren’t skydiving at all! It was a road block. In a skydiving plane, a box would be dropped from it and one team member had to go find it out in the desert. While they were doing that, some random person would be jumping out of the plane with the Travelocity gnome and putting him on a hill for that person to go pick up after they got the box. It was so weird.
The teams seemed confused too since it wasn’t until a guy was explaining to them what was happening that they realized they were not jumping out of a plane, but running in the desert. There was so much disappointment. Laura & Ashley took off running towards their respective clue boxes while Blair & Hayley were pulling up. Hayley said she was so excited about skydiving. Blair looked over as a box dropped and said, “That’s not a person.” Hayley said she would be sad if that was the clue. Hayley, we were all sad about this task.
The lawyers were having problems getting to the non-skydiving task because they had a nail in their tire. They stopped to get it fixed. They were worried about being behind and getting u-turned. The truck stop team seemed to actually not be lost, which was amazing. Crabby pants was back! Damn. Olympian Steve asked if he should turn or go straight and she complained about having to read his handwriting and didn’t answer the question. After he asked her again, she finally did, but was super whiny about it. I said, “So I guess with the Olympians that Crabby Pants has reached that point on the race that some teams do where they are too exhausted and just can’t stand each other or anything else. She’s just going to be this way the rest of the time.” Amy said, “Maybe Olympian guy and Blair can be on a team.”
The truck stop team arrived at the non-skydiving task before the lawyers, but Jelani was crazy fast at it. Mike was lost in the desert, which isn’t surprising while Jelani was running back with his box and gnome. Mike actually wasn’t too far behind them. They were both finishing up by the time the Olympians arrived. When Mike finally got back from running for the truck stop team, Rochelle said she was impressed at what he had done and she felt that when they got home, he could meet her kid. Finally!
Why Are There Children?
The way that Crabby Pants asked, “Why are there children?” was so funny. She seemed so annoyed that anyone was there and she might have to do anything with them. We missed what they had to do for a speed bump since we were laughing at that so much. They had to make some toy air planes out of old soda cans. I said they had made their speed bumps more difficult this season probably because we made the eating ice cream joke too much. Amy said, “The entire world made fun of the ice cream eating speed bump.”
Crabby Pants did say the speed bump had put her in a better mood, but when they went to do the non-skydiving task, she was frustrated with Olympian Steve going in the wrong direction looking for the box. He was way off track because we even got to see on a map how far he was from it. I am guessing he was out there for a while before they finally finished the task. When they finished the task, there were teams already headed to the pit stop.
Sand Dune Skiing
The detour had teams picking between cross country skiing up some sand dunes before they had to sled down them. It looked like a lot of work to get up but tons of fun going down. The hair stylists were the first teams to get to the detour and picked the fun one.
It was about as difficult as we expected it to be. Ashley got stuck a bit where she fell down, but wasn’t getting up like she should so she was digging herself in deeper. Instead of getting frustrated though, she listened to Matt helping her out.
Even though the task looked like it would take a long time, the hair stylists finished up their task before Laura & Tyler finished up the tire task.
The other task had teams hitching up five huge tires to the back of a pickup truck and drive it five miles to smooth out some road. Laura & Tyler arrived at the same time as the hair stylists, but they went with the tire task. When Blair & Hayley arrived, Hayley announced she did not like skiing at all. Blair said she was crushing his dreams, but he did what she wanted.
When they got there, Tyler said he would get the big tires off the huge pile and close to each other while Laura connected them with the chain. Blair & Hayley seemed to be doing the same thing. Blair was also feeling more comfortable making fun of Hayley and she seemed to be taking it as a joke like normal people. It was short-lived because Hayley started to tell Blair how to do everything again. When he actually talked back to her, she said he could drop the attitude since she was just giving him a friendly heads up. Amy said, “Remind me to not have friends.” Then Amy asked the most important question, “Does she have any friends? I want to google, ‘Does Hayley have friends in rl?'”
The hair stylists got to the board and decided to u-turn the lawyers. I know they had a vendetta against them, but the smart move would have been Laura & Tyler since they are a super strong team. Laura & Tyler showed up shortly after at the board and decided to u-turn the Olympians even though they briefly considered Blair & Hayley. They knew the Olympians were in last place with a speed bump. It seemed like a waste of a u-turn, even if they didn’t know how far behind they were at that point.
The lawyers had used their express pass on the skiing uphill task, but by the time they got to the double u-turn board, they saw they had to do one of the tasks so they had to go do the tire task. They were working on the tire task when the truck stop team arrived and also picked the tire task. This task was made for the truck stop team. I said, “This is the fastest the truck stop team has done anything!” Amy said, “It’s their element.” The truck stop actually finished the task before the lawyers.
When the Olympians finally showed up, they picked the skiing uphill task and had fun doing it. They didn’t seem to have any issues. Then when they did the tire dragging task, there was sad tire dragging music so we knew it was going to be the end for them.
When teams arrived at an oasis, they had to pick up an exotic animal to bring it over to Phil at the mat. Their exotic animals included a donkey, something with horns, a camel and a feisty zebra. Amy said, “Donkey = exotic?”
The hair stylists and Laura & Tyler showed up at the same time. The hair stylists forgot their gnome in the car so Laura & Tyler got ahead of them a little bit while they had to walk slowly to Phil with their animals. Laura & Tyler had a zebra that lived up to its feisty name when it almost kicked Tyler in the head. The hair stylists went with the animal with huge horns. It did not do any kicking. Laura & Tyler did finally get Nora the zebra under control and got to Phil in first place. They won a trip to New Zealand. The hair stylists came in second place.
Blair & Hayley came in third place. They had picked Dave the camel. When Phil checked them in, he said, “Dave, Hayley and Blair…” I’m glad Dave got checked in too.
Truck stop team showed up and picked Nora the Zebra while the lawyers picked Dave the camel. Amy said, “I hope the donkey doesn’t feel left out.” Then Nora started acting up again. She swung Mike around and then she almost kicked him in the dangly bits. They decided to switch to the donkey. That put them just behind the lawyers. Jenny was trying to get Dave the camel to hurry up, but the animals didn’t always want to go quickly in the direction everyone else did. Mike was trying to get the donkey to go, but it was a bit unruly as well. They did finally make it to the mat with the lawyers just ahead of the truck stop team.
When the Olympians got to the pit stop, they also picked Dave the camel. Amy said, “Dave is going to brag at how many times he got picked.” I said that Dave was thinking, “I’m at the pit stop again.” The Olympians were told that they were last and they were eliminated. When they left the mat, they walked off with the camel. Steve said, “Oh, they get to keep Dave.” Amy said, “That seems fair.”