True Blood: I Am Not a Zombie!

True Blood
Cold Grey Light of Dawn

Most of this episode was a big giant set up for things to happen at the end of the episode. I wish we didn’t have to wait so long to get to the point!

PRO: First thing you hear is “The zombies are coming” which makes you think that the show is now introducing zombies, which would be both awesome and too much supernatural stuff in one show! It is just guard lady playing Plants vs. Zombies though.

PRO: Witch lady controlling the vampire is pretty neat, but what is up with the vampire death being bad but it is okay to snap the girl’s neck?

CON: Pam’s face is getting out of control.

PRO: Pam beating up Tara and her no-personality girlfriend

CON: Where did all those people with cameras show up? Does Merlotte even sit that many people?

PRO: Pam saying, “I am not a zombie!”

CON: Blah blah between Jesus and his grandfather talking about having to prove to Lafayette that he’s a medium. Couldn’t he have had cooler magic than that? Can’t he be like Harry Potter?

CON: I would hope that super cool wolf pack party would be better than a bunch of white trash people drinking in the woods. Why is everyone wearing their shirts?

PRO: Alcide can actually smell Sookie. Oh wait, is that gross?

PRO: Not only does Alcide and Debbie come across Sookie and Eric having sex, they just stand there and watch it for a while.

CON: Vampires are still so gooey when they explode.

PRO: At least he exploded all over Bill.

CON: I liked when Tara was happy in New Orleans, but she’s back to being all depressed and stuff. Even her no-personality girlfriend says she doesn’t like Tara. Why does Tara thinks that anyone would actually follow her if she left? They didn’t before. No one cares!

PRO: Jason doing weird push-ups with boxing gloves on while hitting his head when he thinks of Jessica from his sex dream.

PRO: Love that Hoyt still calls Bill, Vampire Bill.

PRO: Jason’s problems don’t last very long. He already forgot about being raped and almost turning into a werepanther. He’s all about not thinking about Jessica and not talking about her with Hoyt.

CON: Jason is making sloppy joes and now I want some.

CON: Time is spent on Bill explaining to Jessica what we have been watching over the past few episodes. Why not just skip to the part of her making everyone get up and walk in the sun?

PRO: Apparently Sookie and Eric can have sex all the way from the woods to her house without stopping. Impressive!

CON: The conversation Sookie and Eric have is good but the music in the background is putting me to sleep!

PRO: Tiny doctor lady is back!

CON: OMG, Pam’s face has come off!

CON: Tommy is on the screen. Can he talk without looking stupid?

PRO: Sookie prancing around the house after having epic sex with Eric, answering the door to Bill and then thanking him for giving her Eric. Ha!

CON: Tara wandering down the road with a bottle of alcohol and no one hits her.

PRO: “Tara is not too crazy about Marnie’s new way of talking about herself.”

CON: Watching Jessica and Bill get all silvered. Ow!

PRO: Best part of Jesus and Lafayette eating is it making me now want Mexican food. I must be hungry.

CON: Why would Holly or any other witch listen to anything Tara has to say? Layfayette has been hanging out with them with Jesus for a while, but Tara has been rude about the entire situation since she got back. It doesn’t make sense.

CON: Bill starts getting all mushy about humanity and blah blah boring blah when talking with Jessica.

CON: Also don’t like Jessica falling out of love with Hoyt.

PRO: Eric has managed to bleed all over Sookie’s shirt.

CON: I really feel like the conversation that Sookie and Eric are having about not getting his memories back is very similar to the one they had after epic sex. Couldn’t they have combined the conversations? They are starting to bore me.

PRO: So glad that the Sam/Luna situation was resolved quickly and it wasn’t dragged out like similar situations are in other shows. I’m also glad that so many other storylines are dragged out in this show and I’m glad this one wasn’t!

CON: It’s nice that Andy is having a date, but Holly is scary looking and the storyline is boring!

CON: Another storyline that has become super boring is the crazy ghost black French lady talking to Arlene’s baby. I’m glad Lafayette can see her now but let’s get this storyline over with already.

PRO: Alcide is naked and having sex!

CON: It’s with Debbie. 🙁

PRO: Debbie had to stop having sex with Alcide because she is jealous of Sookie.

CON: She sucks at crying.

CON: Does Marnie have a closet filled with potato sack dresses and big belts? I have never seen so many dresses like that.

PRO: Sam yells at Tommy for being stupid. I do feel slightly bad for Tommy since he’s confused about why it is happening, but he did sleep with Sam’s girlfriend and never told him what happened to him so bye bye Tommy!

PRO: I’m pretty sure I heard “factory homes” in the witch chant.

PRO: Sookie and Jason having the best conversation about him not being a werepanther before he asks why she has blood all over her.

PRO: Jason used his brain! He figured out Jessica might be going out to the sun.

PRO: First, I’m surprised that Ginger actually got on top of the coffin when Pam wanted out instead of letting her out. Second, good job screaming! It can’t be an episode with Ginger in it if she isn’t screaming!

CON: Jessica got loose from the silver chains. She’s crazy strong!

PRO: Bill commanded Jessica to let him out of his chains and then she ignored him.

CON: Jessica opened the doors while Jason was running past bodyguards to save her.

Oh no! Let’s not killed Jessica!

What did you think of the episode? Did you enjoy listening to Sookie and Eric being all in love? Do you believe it will continue if his memories come back? Did you think there was too much talking between the two of them? Are you ready for Pam’s face to be fixed? Are you glad that Sam kicked Tommy out again? Do you think that Jason will save Jessica?

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