True Blood: Naked Men Sandwiches

True Blood
I’m Alive and on Fire

This episode had 100% more nakedness than the last one, which was an improvement, but poor Pam didn’t not luck out with the witches. Eric went from being really happy to really sad, Jason finally escaped his messed up situation and we learned that Bill likes to keep it in the family. Is he a Lannister?

PRO: Eric being drunk on fairy blood, including his pinching and grabbing Sookie’s butt while giggling. Hilarious!

PRO: Pam is still wearing spikes on her shoulder while she is talking to Bill about not knowing here Eric is located.

CON: Bill talking about boring protocol. That’s not the way to be a bad ass king Bill. Just do what you want and quit talking protocol.

CON: Jason is still being raped by Hot Mess women.

CON: The lady’s dirty granny panties that she puts on while talking about her brother-husband. Ugg.

PRO: Breed, Ghost Daddy, breed!

PRO: Jason convinces the little girl to not have sex with him and free him instead. About time! He also teaches her that boys bring you presents and you shouldn’t  have sex because some guy “shoves you in the shed and says you gotta”. Fine advice Jason, fine advice.

PRO: Nan yelling at Bill. We also learn that they don’t make necromancers the way they used to. Good to know!

PRO: We get to see more about the witch that did the spell on Eric. She’s being burned alive way back in the day. Marnie wakes up with fire in her eyes.

PRO: Alcide shows up at Sookie’s house and immediately starts getting undressed. Now that’s the way to make an entrance!

CON: More Tommy nonsense between Sam and Maxine. Sam was pretty awesome when talking to her and not arguing with her, but anything having to do with Tommy is nonsense.

CON: Little girl in hot mess learns that “Sex is kinda gross but feels good.” And then her uncle-daddy realizes that something is wrong and Jason is gone.

PRO: He does turn into a panther, which is pretty.

PRO: Marnie says that “People are so perplexing. Leave me alone with the dead.”

PRO: Tara makes the same face that I am after Marnie tries some spells that don’t work.

PRO: Naked Eric in the lake and Sookie saying, “There are big gators in there you crazy Viking, now get out of there and let’s go home before they chomp off your you-know-what.”

PRO: Alcide changes from wolf to human form, which means he is naked next to Sookie while Eric gets alarmed that there is a naked guy standing next to Sookie.

PRO: Alcide growling at Eric and Eric doing his own kind of vampire growling with his fangs out at Alcide.

CON: The fairy blood wearing off and Eric starting to burn in the sun. He was so sad and didn’t want to go back to the dark. Aww.

PRO: Jason figuring out that the panthers chasing him can probably smell what’s on his shirt so he gets rid of it and rubs mud all over himself before hiding. It appeared to trick the pretty kitty.

CON: Tommy goes back and starts talking to his mom. Bleh!

PRO: Sam learns his new girlie girl has a daughter named Emma and she’s super cute. Sam also plays Barbies with her. It is nice when things go Sam’s way for once.

CON: Eric very sweetly asked Sookie to stay with him and she refused. So rude!

PRO: She tries to have a secret conversation with Alcide, but Eric listens in with his crazy vampire hearing. Also Sookie tells Alcide that Debbie is a crackhead, even if she claims to be reformed.

PRO: Jason hiding in a tree from the panther whittling a stick.

CON: Jason killed the kitty, even if it was a Hot Mess uncle-daddy-whatever.

CON: Crystal is excited to be Big Momma Kitty. Go away Crystal! At least Jason seems to have some sense and not fall for her craziness, telling her “If I don’t see you for another 100 years, it will be too soon.”

PRO: Mona from Who’s the Boss? is alive! She’s also playing Caroline Bellefleuer, which makes me think a storyline from the book might be coming and that’s not good for Bill and Portia.

PRO: Caroline is awesome. She tells Andy that drinking Red Bull is vulgar and he’ll drink sweet tea instead. She also tells him that you don’t talk about catching flashers in the parlor. The parlor! Oh my, I might get the vapors.

CON: Sam learns that Luna’s ex is a werewolf that also happens to be a jealous psychopath. Fun!

PRO: I believe it was the combination of Marnie crying about no help from her “spirit guides” and Tara yelling “We’re fucked” that got the correct spellbook to fly off the shelf.

CON: Is Debbie reading the Bible when Alcide comes home? Then she smells him? Alcide believes that Debbie has changed and she does a convincing job, but I still don’t believe it! I’m sure she hates Sookie.

CON: The show went where I was hoping it wouldn’t go! Bill learns he’s the great-great-great-great-grandfather to Portia. Oopsie!

PRO: Terry is cute with the evil baby…

CON: …but then there is the evil doll telling evil baby to write on the wall.

CON: Sad Eric being sad about the lack of sun.

PRO: Eric convinces Sookie to almost kiss him…

CON: …but then stupid Bill shows up at her door!

PRO: Sookie is awesome at lying to Bill and telling him she thought he came through for her in making Eric go away. Then she makes him feel guilty when he wants to search her place, even though she says he isn’t there. Her guilt trip works since he doesn’t do it. Go Sookie!

PRO: Jason is saved by Jessica and Hoyt. Yeah!

CON: When Jessica gives Jason her blood, he looks at her like he loves her. Don’t mess with Hoyt’s girl, Jason.

CON: More Tommy and his mom storyline and blah blah, stupid Joe Lee shows up. Bah! Why isn’t he dead?

PRO: At least he has his pants on.

CON: Pam interrupts Marnie calling on the super old witch who then decides to make half of Pam’s face decay. Gross!

What did you think of the episode? It wasn’t as well written as the previous one by Alan Ball, but it did have a lot more naked guy scenes, which was a good thing. What do you think about poor Pam and her face? Do you think Debbie has changed for good? Do you think Sookie should just get it on with Eric or Alcide or both? What about the ickiness of Portia and Bill having sex and then learning they are related? Should they move to Hot Mess?

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