Amazing Race: Don’t Go In the Water

This leg watched Ron overthink a fairly simple road block task making his team fall to last place, the cowboys made a dumb airplane mistake that made them work twice as hard to stay in the race, and the goths have various levels of nervous breakdowns during the race. That’s not to mention, the many teams that got to play with poop as part of a task. Fun for them! Finally, Vyxsin went psycho again and jumped in the Ganges River, probably contracting a multitude of diseases.

Gary & Mallory were the first team to leave the pitstop, with Mallory sporting a shiny gold headband, and learned they were traveling to Varanasi on the banks of the Ganges River, considered the holy land of India. They had to find a Tonga Stand once they arrived.

Besides the goths wondering if they could buy airline tickets at the airport, there wasn’t much confusion about getting flights to Varanasi. Everyone got on the KingFisher flight with a 10:45 am arrival. Everyone that is, but the cowboys! They got on another flight on Jet Airways that arrived at 11:45 am. They never saw any of the other teams and it took a while for them to realize that there was an earlier flight and everyone else was on it. They knew they would have to hustle to catch up.  Since there was a lot of time before the flight left, what did that mean for Ron? Time to find food! He cannot stop eating.

When the teams arrived in Varanasi, Kynt smashed his head into the trunk and went into a bad mood immediately. He thought the driver should have warned him about the trunk. I guess in case he couldn’t see it. The Globetrotters were laughing that there seemed to be some system in the vehicles in India that when they pressed on the gas, the horn honked. There was nonstop honking. Zev & Justin’s taxi had to stop to get gas, which frustrated them. The goths saw an elephant just cruising down the middle of a city street. Why not? Big Easy was back to calling everyone baby, including the cab driver. Their cab driver passed all the other teams and he told him, “Good job, baby.”

Anorexic Santa Claus

When the teams arrived at the clue, it was a road block. They had to find the meaning of life. They were given pictures of holy men and they had to find them in a crowded city area to get one word or phrase from each. Then, they had to find one last holy man and unscramble the message to get the next clue. Kynt, Big Easy, Jen, Gary, Ron and Justin decided to do it. Of course, the cowboys weren’t there yet, but their flight did finally arrive at the airport.

Kynt found one guy first, but it was the end guy so at least he knew where to go when he was done. Big Easy and Jen started to work together for a couple of clues. When Big Easy asked if she wanted to continue, she just took off in another direction. Ron walked right by one talking to himself and saying it was frustrating that he could not find any. Justin thought the holy men looked like anorexic Santa Claus.

Kynt and Gary found a holy man at the same time. Kynt told Gary that if they worked together, he would show him where the guy at the end was located. He even said, “I’ll show you. I won’t screw you.” Kynt then said, “When in doubt, follow Gary.” This does seem like sound advice. Ron  finally found one holy man and then pointed off to a building really far away saying he was going to see if he could find anymore over there. Everyone else seemed to find them pretty close by the clue box, but Ron was off going somewhere far, far away! Jen picked up the last of her clues.

Back at the clue box, Zev was not liking the loudness of all the honking and general congestion of people and vehicles. Mallory gave him ear plugs, so he put them in and dealt with it. Meanwhile, Jen turned in her message and got the roadblock clue. Justin and Big Easy found each other and got the last clue together. Jen brought her clue to Kisha and they opened it. They had to go to Swaminath Akhara where the clue box would be next to two guys wrassling in the dirt.

Justin and Big Easy found the last guy to get the clue around the time that the cowboys arrived at the road block. Cord decided to do it. Vyxsin, Mallory and Christina were worried since they knew the cowboys were efficient. Cord found two holy men while Ron was still searching somewhere really far away for the holy men. He still only had one clue. Kynt and Gary found the last holy man and then Kynt took off running towards the guy to turn them into. Kynt said that he didn’t feel bad about bolting since he felt at that point their “co-dependency was over.” Whatever makes you feel better, douche. Gary stood there and couldn’t believe Kynt just took off running, but he got the clue soon after Kynt turned it in.

The sisters were dropped off somewhere that wasn’t correct. The Globetrotters and Zev & Justin got to the the clue box first and found a detour. They had to either Feed the Fire by creating fuel patties from buffalo manure and put them on a nearby house to dry in the sun before burning some leftover patties to heat some milk for local children or Feed the Buffalo where they had to pick up and deliver hay. Both Globetrotters and Zev & Justin decided to do the hay task. The sisters showed up and picked the poop task since they were not sure how heavy the bales of hay would be.

The Globetrotters and Zev & Justin picked up their bales of hay while the cowboys finished the road block. Ron was lost somewhere. He went to where a bunch of people bathed in the holy water and thought they might be there and out of their holy garb because they were hot. WAT! He finally got back to the crowded area and started to find holy men again.

Playing with Poop

The Globetrotters and Zev & Justin got out of their boats with their bales of hay and started to find the addresses they had to deliver the hay. The sisters arrived at their task and realized the fuel patties were poop! They were trying not to gag on the smell. Lovely! The goths arrived at the detour just before Gary & Mallory. They both picked the poop task. As they were cruising down the river to the task, Gary pointed out to the Mallory that they were cremating people right on the edge of the water.

Ron finally finished the road block! They were off to the detour. Meanwhile, Justin was discovering that the buffalo were trying to eat their bales of hay while they were walking through the streets so they had to hold them up above their heads and away from their mouths.

Jen was putting together fuel patties to bring to Kisha to place on the wall. Jen was muttering to herself, “The crap you do for a million dollars.” When she brought the patties over to Kisha, she realized she was dismantling them and making her own patties to put on the wall. Kisha said what she was giving her was too big. Jen responded, “You want me to just bring you a pile of crap and you can put them up there?” Kisha told her to continue doing what she was doing and Jen did not seem happy.

The Globetrotters and Zev & Justin turned in their bales of hay and got the pit stop clue that told them to head to Ramnagar Fort. The cowboys arrived at the detour clue and picked getting hay. They laughed saying they came to the other side of the world to haul hay!

The sisters were done with their poop on the wall and a judge lady came over, but did not approve. She grabbed a stick and started knocking down patties that were either too big or too small. They had to redo those and she approved them. They then took some leftover poo to burn it to heat the milk and get the pit stop clue. They were off!

Wussy Man

The goths were almost to the poop palace but Kynt was having difficulty walking up stairs. He said that maybe she could do it, but she was making him carry his bag and he couldn’t do it after the road block. He couldn’t carry his own bag? And the road block was so difficult when it consisted of walking around and ditching Gary? Vyxsin took the bag from whiny man, so she was carrying both her and Kynt’s bag. He proceeded to leap up the steps the rest of the way. They started working on their buffalo poop around the time that Gary & Mallory showed up. Mallory saw that it had to do with manure and said she was wearing the same outfit where they had to do a task in Russia with manure. What was up with that outfit and  manure? She said she was throwing the outfit away after the race since when she wore it again, manure would show up.

The cowboys picked up their hay and they were wearing their work gloves that they must have brought with them on the race. The goths finished putting the poop up on the wall, but not all of it was satisfactory for the woman. She didn’t use a stick to knock it down though. She just used her hands to remove them. They had to redo the bad ones. Gary & Mallory also had some that were not good enough and they redid those. The goths and Gary & Mallory finished the poop task around the same time. They were off to the pit stop.

Ron & Christina decided to do the hay task and picked up their hay.The cowboys delivered their hay and were off to the pit stop shortly before Ron & Christina delivered their hay and were headed off to the pit stop too.

Pit Stop

The Globetrotters and Zev & Justin were racing to the finish line, but the Globetrotters got to it first. They were thrilled that they went from last to first in one leg. They won a trip to Hawaii. Zev & Justin checked in next. Zev was proud of himself for dealing with the crowds and the noise in India.

The goths had decided to take a water taxi to the pit stop, but the driver pushed off  from land and then just stood there talking with another guy. Vyxsin was getting a bit anxious about them not moving and started yelling. She said she wanted to get back to land, but he wouldn’t move. She just jumped out of the water and I think it was deeper than she expected. She went completely underwater and some of it went in her mouth. They were cremating bodies just down the river. Ick! She grabbed the boat and started to pull it to the land while Kynt yelled at her saying, “Get out of that water!” Meanwhile, the sisters checked into the pit stop in third place.

Gary & Mallory checked into the pit stop before the goths, which I think is some instant karma from Kynt screwing over Gary. The cowboys checked into the pitstop next while the goths were still looking for a taxi. Ron & Christina got into a water taxi that actually left right away and were headed to the pit stop. The goths were kicking someone out of a taxi, screaming at them to get out so they could get in. So rude!

Both teams were running to the pit stop, but the goths got there before Ron & Christina so they were in sixth place, which meant that Ron & Christina came in last place. They were eliminated. Ron actually didn’t yell in the episode. He was just wacky!

  1. Globetrotters
  2. Zev & Justin
  3. Sisters
  4. Gary & Mallory
  5. Cowboys
  6. Goths
  7. Ron & Christina – eliminated

Questions

  1. Ron is usually the grumpy one, but was actually fairly calm the entire race. He just had his wacky “logic” during the road block to blame for them coming in last. Were you sad to see him go?
  2. Kynt turned into mega twat during this leg starting with yelling at the cab driver, when he banged his own head on the trunk of the cab. Then he screwed over Gary when he helped him in the road block. Continued when he whined about having to carry his own backpack up a flight of stairs and finished with screaming at people to get out of a taxi. This doesn’t even count Vyxsin’s breakdown on the water taxi and jumping into the dirty water. Are you ready for the goths to leave next or do you think they can redeem themselves?
  3. Everyone seemed surprised by the manure when they got to the poop task. When they described the task over the television, they did mention manure, but I am guessing the clue only said making fuel patties. What do you think the teams thought they would be making exactly especially if the term “patty” was used?
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