Amazing Race: Huddled in the Trenches

Amazing Race
I Think We’re Fighting the Germans, Right?

At the pit stop, teams boarded a bus from Hamburg, Germany and traveled to an unknown destination. They are really liking the bus system this season. On the bus, Joe was nursing his hurt knee. He said that he wasn’t worried about the other teams since he had been running the race with only one good leg. The detectives thought he was a bit too confident so they would like him to go. The teams traveled to Les Monthairons, France, but they weren’t told that. They were all leaving the pit stop not sure exactly where they were.

The detectives suspected they were in France since they knew they went southwest of Germany. They were the first team to leave the pit stop at 9:35 am.

Clue: Teams had to drive themselves to the town of Ste. Menehould and find Boulangerie Defontaine and buy a fresh baguette to receive their next clue.

The detectives took off in their car, saying that the race matched with their work lifestyle. They were used to not sleeping a lot, sometimes you get to wash your clothes while other times you don’t, and you don’t always get to eat a full meal. While driving, they saw a postal worker, so they stopped for directions. Father/daughter team were the second to leave at 9:55 am. Steve said that at 57, he is the oldest one left in the race. He said until he looks in the mirror, he feels like he is 25 years old. While driving, Steve was asking Allie if she knew what a baguette was. She told him it was a long piece of bread and was surprised he didn’t know it. He said he did, but was seeing if she knew it. She didn’t believe him. Crazy dads.

Married parents were the third to depart at 10:11 am. Joe limped to the car, but then he drove. Why wasn’t Heidi driving? He should be resting that leg! The cowboys left next at 10:36 am. Cord kept saying baguette as “bag-o-wet” and didn’t know what it could be. Jet thought it was a pastry and wondered if they could eat it. The lesbians were the fifth to depart at 10:44 am. After saying the city name in an interesting way, Carol wondered how many languages they had  butchered the race, so far. The brothers left at 10:57 am. They were so happy when they saw the car was an automatic.

Yummy Bread


The detectives were the first to arrive in the city. They figured it would be a bakery and they were right. They went into one asking if it was correct, but they didn’t really say. They asked for a baguette and then asked the guy if he had a clue. He didn’t say anything, but when Michael broke the bread apart, they saw

the clue was inside the bread.

Clue: Teams had to find La Main de Massiges to find their next clue.

The detectives laughed when they walked out of the bakery and saw the sign they missed on the way in. They were talking about the baguette was the best one they had ever tasted. Reading the clue again, Louie thought it might be a massage type place, but Michael didn’t think it would be that easy to get a massage in the race.

Father/daughter team and the married parents arrived in the town at the same time. They both thought it would be best to park the cars and look for the bakery on foot. Joe was calling it a “bagel place”. They found the bakery and got the clue. Heidi said it was worth it, just to get the bread.

The models were leaving the pit stop at 11:36 am after some teams had already arrived at the next clue. They stopped at a gas station to get directions. The guy told them to keep going straight on the road, but when they got back to the car, they weren’t sure which direction to head on the road.

War Time

The detectives came upon guys dressed up in World War I gear directing them where to park so they could go to the clue box. It was a detour.

Detour: The teams were at a hill that was coveted by the Germans and defended by the French during World War I. Teams had to dress like American soldiers and help out their fellow Frenchmen in reenacting a battle. In In the Trenches, teams went into a trench to choose one of two communication areas. Then, while using a book for reference, they had to decode Morse code coming in through headphones while fighting was going on around them. In Under Fire, teams had to get on their bellies to crawl under barbed wire 100 yards to a machine gun nest to receive a message from a French soldier and then crawl back to safety. In both tasks, teams had to attach their message to a homing pigeon that would take off to headquarters that the war was over.

The detectives said they were not good with Morse code so they went with under fire. They saw at the end of the clue that a U-Turn was ahead. While changing, Michael was laughing that he was not standard-issue size for the outfits. Michael said it was tight. He said he felt like he was the Hulk and he was going to rip right out of it.

The cowboys, lesbians and brothers all arrived in town at the same time. The cowboys parked right in front of it. Jet said that he was sure the clue was inside the bread. Cord could not believe he was right. Jet was having some troubles getting the clue open. The lesbians and brothers got into the bakery, found the clue and took off while Jet still struggled. He gave it to Cord who opened it quickly. Jet commented that he liked the baguette. The models arrived at the bakery soon after. Caite was so excited to get food with the clue. She said it was really good and she was glad it didn’t have any “crazy crap in it.”

The father/daughter and married parents arrived at the detour at the same time. Allie said that the Morse code sounded hard. Steve agreed and said they were crawling. Joe wanted to crawl. Heidi was worried about his knee, but he said he wanted to crawl.

The detectives got to the battle ground where things were blowing up, guns were being shot and planes were flying over head. Michael said, “This is crazy!” They started crawling and asked if they were fighting the Germans. They also thought it was World War II. Around that time, Big Brother were finally leaving the pit stop at 12:17 pm. They became frustrated quickly since they couldn’t find their way out of the pit stop town they were in so they could get to the town in the clue.

Back at the battleground, Michael was crawling much faster than Louie. He kept having to stop and encourage him to catch up. Louie admitted that he sucks at cardio so he was glad that Michael was there to motivate him. Father/daughter and married parents were almost to the battlefield when the detectives reached the soldier. Michael picked it up. Then he told Louie that he would be in front and Michael would be behind him screaming all the way. He waited for Louie to catch his breath first though.

The other teams started crawling. Allie was freaking out a bit with all the bombings, saying it was like a real war. Joe said he felt comfortable crawling. The detectives saw the other teams starting when they started to crawl back. Louie joked that the war was over so they could quit fighting. The teams passed each other under the barbed wire around the time the lesbians and brothers showed up. Both teams decided to crawl. The cowboys showed up soon after. Jet asked if Cord wanted to do Morse code, but Cord didn’t want to since he didn’t know it. The detectives finished up their task and got the next clue after tying their message to a pigeon that flew away.

Clue: Teams had to head South down the road to get their next clue.

A little way down the road, they found the U-Turn. It was a blind one so the teams wouldn’t know who did it. The team that was U-Turned would have to complete the other part of the detour before moving on. They decided to U-Turn the married parents. Around that time, both the father/daughter and married parents had made it to the soldier to get the message. They grabbed their clue from the clue box next to the U-Turn.

Clue: Teams had to march into town and find the Church of Massiges.

The models arrived at the detour. When they saw the planes, Brent said, “They are up in some sort of flying things.” Yes, flying things called planes! They decided to crawl. The brothers were walking towards the battlefield when they challenged each other to run as if the enemy was chasing them. They said they were getting ready for war. Carol had to stop to fix something with her pant leg or shoe when the cowboys passed them. They were jogging to the battlefield like the brothers. Jordon got tired of running and said they needed to stop. Dan brought up that Jordan was the one that wanted to run. Jordan wanted to jog, but was tired. They bickered a bit and right before they started crawling, Dan asked if Jordan thought it was funny. Jordan said he was having so much fun. Dan just laughed and shoved him a bit. The cowboys arrived to the hill next and started crawling. The lesbians started complaining as soon as they started crawling.

Father/daughter and married parents were almost back across the battlefield. Jordan was having a fun time with commentary. When one of the bombs sprayed dirt on him, he said they had been hit. He wondered why they were shooting at him when he was innocent. Dan told him they were Nazis. Jordan asked one of the random soldiers how he was doing and told Dan he was checking in on his fellow soldiers. Dan was laughing and telling Jordan to shut up.

Big Brother finally found the city. Jeff wanted to just park and walk around for the bakery. Jordan thought it would waste time, but did it anyway. Jeff was befuddled by the baguette. He kept asking for a clue. The guy told him the baguette was the clue. Jeff thought they were in the wrong place. He kept asking what they had to do to get the clue. He wondered if he needed to eat it. Then he broke it in half and found the clue. Ta-da!

Steve & Allie got to the pigeon next and headed to the next clue box. Joe came out of the battlefield still limping and saying that it did put a bit of pressure on his knee, but they finished soon after the father/daughter team. When Steve & Allie got to the next clue box, they saw that the married parents were U-Turned. They stood there until the married parents got there. Steve told him he was sorry. Joe did not believe that they were picked.  They figured out it had to be the detectives. Of course, the teams took it personally. Heidi said she thought they were nice cops and they had a nice rapport with them. They went to do the Morse code task.

Tour de France

The detectives made it into town and found the church.

Clue: Inspired by the 1903 inaugural Tour de France, teams had to wear traditional riding gear and ride antique bicycles built more than a 100 years ago through a challenging four-mile course to the next pit stop.

The detectives struggled with getting out of one outfit to put on another outfit. They were laughing when they took off on their bikes. Louie said it was easier than dragging his butt through the trenches. Michael said they were heading to the pit stop and if they could get rid of Joe, it would be a good day.

Back at the detour, the married parents found the communication devices. It seemed like it took them no time to get the message. Heidi said she hoped it was it and took it to the pigeon guy. The brothers had made it to the soldier with the message. The cowboys got there around the same time. The pigeon guy said their note was wrong. They had “Viva le Liberty”, which was wrong. They had to go back and try again.

Big Brother had to stop to get directions to the detour. Jordan said it was back in the direction they came. Jeff told her that they weren’t going to win with that attitude. The brothers and cowboys were headed back across the field when one of the planes dropped a bomb really close. Cord thought it was pretty real for a detour. Brandy was not having a fun time. She said she never wanted to play war or be a boy. She didn’t want to prove herself physically. She said it isn’t what she signed up for. Um, the race has always had physical tasks. It is what you signed up for! Carol still had a good attitude. The models were starting to crawl. Caite thought it was really cool. She was having a good time. Brandy said that smart people do Morse code and dumb people do the crawling. I guess they were dumb since they were crawling! Then they passed the models and Brandy said, “See what I just said?” Wow. Why did they pick that task then?

The brothers and cowboys turned their messages into the pigeon guy. Jordan said the pigeon did not have to fly in his face the way it did when it took off. The married parents were getting frustrated as they saw teams that came behind them finishing up the task and moving on while they were struggling with the Morse code. The lesbians turned the message into the pigeon guy soon after. Around that time, father/daughter were taking off on their bikes.

Pit Stop

The detectives heard music while riding their bikes. Michael said they were singing for them. There was no singing. They got off their bikes and ran over to the mat. Louie told Phil he was going to die. Phil told them they were the first team to arrive. As the winners of the leg of the race, they each won a 55-inch HD television. Phil asked them about using the blind U-Turn. Michael said the race wasn’t for sheep and they were wolves.

While jogging into town, Jordan said that handling guns were not his “cup of tea.” He liked swords, not guns. Jordan’s foot was hurting them so they started walking. The cowboys passed them by.  The cowboys were not sure why the brothers weren’t trying to get to the next place as quickly as possible. Dan wondered if it mattered that the cowboys ran by them. Jordan said that if it did, they wouldn’t let anyone run past them next time. What if there isn’t a next time? The cowboys got to the next clue box, changed and were headed to the bike starting line by the time the brothers got to the clue box.  Jet said he liked horses better than bicycles since you “don’t have to peddle a horse.” When the brothers started on their bikes, Jordan asked, “Do I look like Lance Armstrong or do I look like Lance Armstrong?” The lesbians took off on their bicycles soon after. Carol said it was hard. Brandy yelled at her saying that Carol takes spinning three days a week and she should be kicking her ass in the challenge. Carol responded, “Thank you for that sweet tone.”

Steve and Allie checked in with Phil in second place again. Back at the detour, Joe and Heidi were still struggling with the code. Joe kept calming Heidi down when she would get frustrated.  The models finished the detour and then had to figure out which way was south. Caite asked Brent to look at his watch. He pointed where North would be so they went the opposite direction of that. Then Brent pondered, “I wonder if they meant South as in a direction or South as in just go that direction?” That is an excellent question, Brent.

The cowboys showed up at the pit stop in third place. While coming up to the pit stop line, Jordan was freaking out about their placement. He said that every minute they arrived at the pit stop was a minute earlier they got to leave the pit stop on the next leg. Dan told him to shut up and stop worrying about it. They crossed the finish line and checked in with Phil for fourth place.

Speed Bump

Big Brother finally found the detour area, but there was their Speed Bump waiting for them first.

Speed Bump: They had to reinforce a section of the trench using some branches. When the Army engineer is satisfied that they have shored up the walls of the trench, they will be able to continue on the race.

They had to change into the Army outfits first. While they did that, the lesbians checked in with Phil. Big Brother were running to the trench when Jordan was complaining that her shoes and hat were too big. Jeff stopped and asked her if she was joking and then told her to tie some loose material around her leg so she could run without tripping. The clueless models wandered somewhere else than where they were supposed to so they missed a clue box. They did end up in town and find the church. They went to go change into their bike clothes.  Jordan was tying up her shoe and telling Jeff not to talk to her while the models took off on their bicycles.

The married parents were still working on their code by the time Big Brother made it to the battlefield. Big Brother had to squeeze by the married parents to get to their trench area and started putting up the branches. Caite was asking Brent if she looked hot with her little mustache on. He said yes, but she should shave it.  They showed up at the pit stop to check in with Phil. He told them they were the sixth team to arrive, but they did not pick up their clue after the detour. They had to go pick up their clue before he could check them in. Uh-oh!

They got back on their bikes to head back to the detour to find the next clue. They were confused since they went South according to his compass watch.  Big Brother were still working on their branches when married parents went to turn in their next guess. It was wrong, so they had to go back and try it again.  Big Brother finished up their branch building and passed so they were handed the detour clue.  Jeff gave it to Jordan and had her pick. She kept asking him what he wanted to do and he wouldn’t tell her. She finally said she didn’t want to translate so they went to go crawl.

The models made it back to the starting line and started running back to the detour. The married parents had another guess with the Morse code and it was wrong.  Big Brother started doing the crawl. Jordan wanted to take her hat off, but someone must have stopped her. Joe had some hope that they still had some time since he saw how frustrated Jordan was and she hadn’t even started crawling yet. The models found their missing clue box and the U-Turn. Caite was really excited they weren’t U-Turned. Then they took off to the town so they could ride bikes again.

Jordan was complaining  that the task was stupid. Jeff was trying to tell her how to crawl so it was easier, but she wasn’t listening.  She kept sitting up and fixing her hat since it was sliding over to the side. Jeff yelled at her, “Put your boobs on the ground and drag yourself over here.” They finally made it to the soldier. Then they realized they had to crawl back the same way they came. Jordan was not happy with this news.  They made it all the way back and handed their message to the pigeon guy around the same time the married parents were trying again. Big Brother took off for the next clue while the married parents were told they were wrong again. Heidi started crying out of frustration. Joe hugged her while Big Brother went South on the road to the next clue. They saw that Joe & Heidi were U-Turned and that’s why they were stuck there. Big Brother headed off into town.

The models made it back to Phil, still in good spirits, probably because they hadn’t seen any other teams while they were running back and forth.  They checked in with Phil in sixth place, but they were surprised they were still the sixth team. Back at the detour, the married parents were huddled together in the trenches. They seemed to have given up on the task. Heidi couldn’t believe someone had U-Turned them. Joe couldn’t believe that it was Morse code that brought them down.  Jeff was encouraging Jordan to finish strong and pedal. She seemed pretty tired, but they checked in with Phil for seventh place.

Phil had to come find the married parents to tell them that all the other teams had checked in and they had been eliminated from the race. He asked them if they knew who had U-Turned them and how they felt about it. Joe said he knew. It was part of the game so he had to expect it. He also said he was very proud of Heidi and how hard she worked, especially with his bum knee.

The order teams arrived at the pit stop:

  1. Michael & Louie – Detectives
  2. Steve & Allie – Father/Daughter
  3. Jet & Cord – Cowboys
  4. Dan & Jordan – Brothers
  5. Carol & Brandy – Lesbians
  6. Brent & Caite – Models
  7. Jeff & Jordan – Big Brother
  8. Joe & Heidi – Married Parents

Questions

  1. Did you feel bad about Heidi & Joe getting U-Turned?
  2. What do you think about the detectives deciding to go through with the U-Turn?
  3. Are you amazed that the models or Big Brother are still in the race?
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